You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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