do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
