Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
