we have officially lost it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.