why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great