It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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