if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
