I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
