a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
