I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"