so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
