i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
