I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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