I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots