I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
