Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  we need a boat to join in

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva

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  (248): The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!! (1-248): we need a boat to join in (248): Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva http://tfl.nu/6n2t
  Replies (3) Good night (1295) Bad night (563)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.

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  (314): sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke. http://tfl.nu/stms
  Replies (15) Good night (4296) Bad night (471)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.

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  (570): we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up. http://tfl.nu/su5y
  Replies (20) Good night (3868) Bad night (536)
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  (209): View more from California

  Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.

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  (209): Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball. http://tfl.nu/0g16
  Replies (13) Good night (1334) Bad night (1858)
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  (845): View more from New York

  mondays should just be called national damage control day

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  (845): mondays should just be called national damage control day http://tfl.nu/14ab
  Replies (15) Good night (4773) Bad night (762)
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  (949): View more from California

  Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.

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  (949): Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language. http://tfl.nu/y11c
  Replies (23) Good night (4596) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face

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  (802): i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face http://tfl.nu/in3q
  Replies (6) Good night (792) Bad night (1701)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?

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  (615): Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich? http://tfl.nu/f2jm
  Replies (12) Good night (2445) Bad night (1886)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.

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  (605): If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again. http://tfl.nu/3u7r
  Replies (4) Good night (2042) Bad night (920)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.

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  (914): Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73. http://tfl.nu/mdyq
  Replies (14) Good night (2765) Bad night (789)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.

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  (765): I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/djj8
  Replies (8) Good night (1516) Bad night (391)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.

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  (403): Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single. http://tfl.nu/dae6
  Replies (4) Good night (1058) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.

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  (970): he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again. http://tfl.nu/v15v
  Replies (4) Good night (1354) Bad night (383)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.

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  (202): me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends. http://tfl.nu/9hc6
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.

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  (940): See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks. http://tfl.nu/9nre
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (287)

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