Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage