if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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