Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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