Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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