Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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