ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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