I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
