new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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