Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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