can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
