I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize