Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Where is the hickey?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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