eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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