every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
