I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you had me at cake vodka
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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