I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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