I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
