Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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