All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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