so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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