He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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