Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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