Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize