At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
