Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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