I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
