Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
