what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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