I am spending my child support on dildos
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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