How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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