4 words: hood of his car
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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