All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have aggressive nipples.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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