I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
40s are totally the cure
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
