I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
