Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere