The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and she was petting her beer can
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
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The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.