im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
