god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
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so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
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At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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