Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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