i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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