well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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