Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
