Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize