my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
