It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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