I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
