I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
