I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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