i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
