her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
